Marriage (I Actually Did It!)

Shane and I decided we should get married, so we did. On February 8Th of 2009, we said our "I Do's" in the home of a lovely minister (and her partner) in the presence of her dog. The ceremony itself was nerve wracking; I've never felt so naked in my life, I even considered locking myself in the bathroom. But when I took Shane's hand up at the tiny-ass altar, I knew I had made the right choice. Or maybe it wasn't a choice. I have to say, our first married kiss rivaled our first drunk ass kiss that we shared on the couch, which we later had sex on that night. It smelled like dog....the couch, not the sex.

It was a great party, with sparkling apple cider, cupcakes, and champagne. Our friend Dani was there to take pictures, and the minister, Lynn, and her friend, Moe was there as well. (Moe was hitting on Dani- it was like a tiny lesbian pride day.) Sylvia, who's Lynn's partner, also took some awesome pictures.

After the cutting of the cupcake, we went outside for some pictures of us being all squishy with each other. We also painted the car, and hung balloons on the mirror. We got rain-proof paint for the windows, but it wasn't snow proof, so the next morning, the paint was gone, but the love and the memories remained.

We had an amazing 8 hour honeymoon, consisting of 50 candles around the room, the cats got kicked out (they think it's their bed,) and there was plenty of love in the room that night.

So, I thought for one post, I'd get off my high horse and share a story of love and happiness. Hope you enjoyed!

until next time

Andy

You do WHAT in the bedroom?!

Okay people! I know it's been a while! I'm sorry, life has a way of catching up and redirecting, but I have a topic that my dear friend Anthony brought up and now I feel like the issue needs to be addressed.


LESBIANS, GAY MEN, BISEXUALS, QUEER, TRANSGENDERED PEOPLE! gather 'round! What others do in the bedroom is none of your concern!

Namely, some "politically correct" (if that's even possible) lesbians find it awkward and wrong that other lesbian women will wear strap ons or use dildos. They believe it takes away from being a woman, and specifically being a lesbian. If one sticks anything phallic in nature up "there" then they are not really lesbian. And i ask you....why is it anyone's business?! Sure, i talk to my friends about sex, and about what kind of sex shane and i like to have. We use dildos, we strap, we have phallic things lovingly thrust into our pussies. We enjoy each other in many ways, but why does the presence of anything "dick like" take away from our lesbian orientation? Pussies are meant for the dick, whether you "pc" lesbians want to admit it or not, therefore, (for the most part) dicks feel good in there. Some people plain don't like penetration, for some it hurts. Whatever. But don't take my toys and throw them in my face for some kind of fake lesbian trial and say that since i use them, i'm bisexual. Screw you.

So knock it off. I won't knock your lack of penetration, you don't knock my toys. And if you own toys....show me yours, i'll show you mine.

until next time.

Andy

Sex Toys

I had a friend ask me an interesting question the other day. are sex toys replaceable or are they a part of you?

what an interesting question. My sex toys have always been my friends. I love to use them, but I also know they're content laying in their little boxes, put to bed (so to speak.) I have known women, however, who believe their sex toys are a part of them, just like their clit or their nipples, their sex toys are part of their sexual anatomy. Now, this does not make them men, no, but something higher, I believe, than male or female, but a nice mix of both. All woman...and a little man.

Well, wouldn't that make the woman in question a man? No. As an extension of herself, her penis works as another part of her female anatomy.


"But...if you're a lesbian and you like it when your partner uses sex toys, doesn't that make you bisexual?" I hate this question. NO. a vagina is still a vagina, whether it's a lesbian one or a straight one. Penetration still feels, for the majority, good. Don't feel bad if you don't like it though. to each their own.


When you get a new partner, do you change toys?

I'll take my advice from Lipstick and Dipsticks Essential Guide to Lesbian Relationships (buy it, it's awesome)

*don't tell your new girl that the toy has been used on other people. let her feel like its your first time (except better...)
*CLEAN IT! throw it in the dishwasher (without soap) and run it through. then use Safety Suds or something like it on it.
*Use a condom. Not only are condoms good for cleanliness, but they also make it easier to change the toy in question from partner to partner, and it'll block any "ex girlfriend vibes" from getting into your new lover.
*Let her explore the toy with you. Make sure she's comfortable with the size or shape before diving in.

There's nothing wrong with going shopping for new toys with each partner. I do. But I know that some don't.

Besides it's fun to step inside a store with your love. And nothing is more fun then looking at butt plugs and saying, "HOLY SHIT SOMEONE CAN TAKE THAT?!" and giggling like you did in 5th grade and someone said weiner.

and I would like to apologize for the delay on this blog. I've been having some medical issues that take up so much time!

thanks for reading. submit any questions or concerns to me at silentlegacy3312@yahoo.com

peace, love and purple sex toys,
Andy H.

If I Wanted You To Cut Your Nails, Would You?

Question: what do you call a lesbian with long nails?
Answer: Single



Lately, I have been running into some younger lesbians that don't understand why they should cut their nails. It's not so they won't get dirt or oil under them while your working under the hood (you decide which one) or because you should be more "masculine" since you're a lesbian. It's for a simple reason: if you don't cut your nails, a very imporant vagina gets cut, and I'm sure your ladies don't appreciate that very much.


Ladies, for the love of Sappho, cut your damn nails. I'm not saying cut them down so short that your nail bed bleeds, because then you just have to wear gloves when you're having sex (unless you're in a monogamous, commited realtionship you should be anyway...) Cut 'em so you can scratch your lovers back. Cut 'em so you can scratch that misquito bite you got at Dinah Shore. But please, save the vaginal bleeding for when auntie flo comes to visit monthly.



Another thing to remember, after all the cutting and trimming of the nails has been done is to FILE. Sharp edges are just as good at tearing soft and tender skin as long nails. hearing, "ow ow ow! you're nails are too long!" when you're trying to get some funk kinda ruins the moment.


I always have short nails, because i bite them. Shane, however, sometimes needs to be reminded to cut them down. I knew she was a keeper when she cut them so willingly, just to be with me.

Shane is not single.

and neither will you, if you just CUT YOUR NAILS.


next week, maybe we'll discuss the myth that turkey basters really DO work. (I argue they don't...baby syringes are much better.)


as always, email me at silentlegacy3312@yahoo.com with any ideas for a post you would like to see addressed.


peace, love and short nails,
Andy

I May Be Butch, But I Have a Vagina Too!

I will admit, I'm a Myspace whore. I love myspace. I have friends that I actually talk to, pictures to share, and opinions to post. I have games and groups. One group that seems to always get me riled up is called, "women who love women" or "WWLW." I always seem to get into fights there.

There was a specific topic that was brought up about how there seems to be a lot of femme on femme couples around lately. I made a comment about butch on butch couples (like shane and me) and was instantly told, in just two words, to shut up. I'll post some comments about what people said about butch lesbians and then comment on the comments.

"I never understood this. I mean, the whole butch thing. What I mean is, if I wanted to be with a guy, I would be with a guy. If I want to be with a girl, well then I want to be with a girl who is well, a girl. Not a girl who acts like a guy. If I want someone who behaves like a guy, well, I would go get a guy...."

She goes on to state that she doesn't mean to offend anyone. this is my first issue. I am NOT a man. I do not WANT to be one, and i don't appreciate the sentiment.

"when they’re so beefy you can’t tell whether its a woman or a man..you may aswell just pick yourself up a man."

Do I not have BREASTS? Do i not have a VAGINA? And butch doesn't mean big and beefy. I'm fat, and I have this amazing pear shaped body. I'm still butch!

"a preference is a preference.all they said is that they don’t understand. so dont get your boxers all up in a bunch.and when you shave your head, and people cant tell if youre a girl or guy...that’s when you should say to yourself... man, ... i’m a man."

There is so many things wrong with this. First off, they don't understand, so they're going to hate on me for being butch? HM. sounds a LOT like the people in congress, or in our everyday lives who don't understand why people are HOMOSEXUAL so they deny us rights! Second, since they don't understand, i feel i have the right and the responsibility to help them learn not to be so thick headed! Third, when i shave my head, I look damn fine, but I still have all my parts. I still get my period. I still got pregnant. I still have breasts, and most of all, I still identify as FEMALE.

Granted, there were women saying, "I love butchies! they're so hot!" thank you ladies, yes. yes we are. But it gets me that there are so many other people saying, i don't get it. if they want to be men, they should do it. or, i want my woman to be a woman. I've already pointed out my arguments for this sort of thinking.

The whole point of this is that even in the GLBTQ community, there is discrimination and fear, and it needs to be blotted out with understanding of each and every persons uniqueness! I love my gay brothers, leather and femme. I love my lesbian sisters, whatever they may look like. Because, in all honesty, we are the ONLY culture where everyone in it comes from different backgrounds, different parts of the world. They have different religions, skin colors, hobbies, wants, needs, desires....everything. And if we start picking each other apart, we'll fall. All the things we're working for as a minority will be lost in our own civil war.

So show some love. Either it be for butchies or someone transitioning. We are family. And we are EVERYWHERE.

peace to everyone,

Andy H.

Feel free to email me with your own concerns that you would like me to write about next week. Leave comments. I'd like to think of my mind as open to others opinions as well. Thanks for reading.