If I Wanted You To Cut Your Nails, Would You?

Question: what do you call a lesbian with long nails?
Answer: Single



Lately, I have been running into some younger lesbians that don't understand why they should cut their nails. It's not so they won't get dirt or oil under them while your working under the hood (you decide which one) or because you should be more "masculine" since you're a lesbian. It's for a simple reason: if you don't cut your nails, a very imporant vagina gets cut, and I'm sure your ladies don't appreciate that very much.


Ladies, for the love of Sappho, cut your damn nails. I'm not saying cut them down so short that your nail bed bleeds, because then you just have to wear gloves when you're having sex (unless you're in a monogamous, commited realtionship you should be anyway...) Cut 'em so you can scratch your lovers back. Cut 'em so you can scratch that misquito bite you got at Dinah Shore. But please, save the vaginal bleeding for when auntie flo comes to visit monthly.



Another thing to remember, after all the cutting and trimming of the nails has been done is to FILE. Sharp edges are just as good at tearing soft and tender skin as long nails. hearing, "ow ow ow! you're nails are too long!" when you're trying to get some funk kinda ruins the moment.


I always have short nails, because i bite them. Shane, however, sometimes needs to be reminded to cut them down. I knew she was a keeper when she cut them so willingly, just to be with me.

Shane is not single.

and neither will you, if you just CUT YOUR NAILS.


next week, maybe we'll discuss the myth that turkey basters really DO work. (I argue they don't...baby syringes are much better.)


as always, email me at silentlegacy3312@yahoo.com with any ideas for a post you would like to see addressed.


peace, love and short nails,
Andy